Flushed With Pride
There is a theorem in science called Occam’s Razor which states that the ‘simplest, most elegant explanation is usually the closest to the truth.’
I am sure there are things in life that you can apply this theorem to improve many aspects of our lives, and make them better. However, while Occam’s Razor may be the best way to find the truth, I feel it may also be the best way to identify the perfect design of a form or function.
Of course, I’m talking about the bathroom.
What was wrong with the way my bathroom functioned for the majority of my life?
I’ll tell you – nothing.
You did your business, depressed the handle on the side of the tank to flush, turned on the faucet, washed your hands, and left.
Perfect, right?
Yes, so society said, “let’s change it.”
The first change I can remember is when the handle to flush toilet moved from the side of the tank, and was now a button on top of the tank, directly behind you.
What contortionist designed this contraption? Which of the seven fundamental ballet movements do I need to perform in order to flush?
Next came the motion sensitive toilets and urinals.
In hindsight, just because technology is available, doesn’t mean you have to use it.
At the beginning of this improvement, the slightest motion in the bathroom and a rush of water escaped down the pips even before you have done anything.
Then they improved on that improvement, and it was a game changer (but not in a good way).
The motion sensitive light jumped from the toilet/urinal to the faucet and paper towel dispenser, and that’s when the fun began.
If they filmed us in the bathroom, there would be reels of footage of grown men and woman performing karate movements (Wax on, Wax off) just to coax water from the faucet.
Hell, while arms and hands crisscross the air, you could earn a Black Belt just to get paper towels out of the damn machine.
It doesn’t stop there, however.
This past weekend, we had a family dinner at a Brazilian Steak House. (Side note, so much food).
I was not familiar with Brazilian Steak House, but basically there is a constant barrage of servers who constantly roam between tables, with meat impaled on swords and carve slices of food onto your plates.
At the end of dinner, I needed to find the rest room.
It was a very large restaurant, and with the continuous wave of customers and servers (with meat swords), I redirected my path several times before I reached my destination.
With both the MAN and WOMAN icons on the one door, I expected a unisex restroom.
I was wrong.
There were ten separate bathrooms, five doors on each side of the room, each with either a green VACANT or red OCCUPIED displayed under the door knob.
Opened the nearest VACANT door, and stepped inside. What I found was not just a stall, but a bathroom complete with toilet, full vanity, and hand drier.
After I finished my business, I expected the toilet to flush once I stepped away, but it did not. There was what looked like a motion detector in front so I waved my hand across it like I was meeting and old friend for the first time.
Nothing.
Then I noticed a small, silver button at the right-side-back-end of the tank. Odd placement indeed, but when I pushed the button the water flushed away.
The faucet at the bathroom sink was a tall cylinder with a spout but no handles to control the water. There was, however, a small lever on the bottom right so I flipped it forward and backwards and expected the water to flow.
Nothing.
Then I pushed the top of the cylinder down and water came out of the spout.
Success.
Washed my hands, and miraculously paper towels emerged from the machine after just a few basic hand movements.
The water from the faucet continued to run.
Back at the sink, I looked for an off switch/button/anything but nothing.
I pulled the top of the cylinder up, but the water still ran.
After a few more seconds the water continued to pour from the faucet, so I left.
As far as I know, its still running.
I liked it so much better when you walked into a bathroom and you knew what to expect.
And don’t even get me started about those Bidets...
