The World’s Oldest Roadie
Author’s Note: I was also going to include ‘the world’s fattest roadie’ in the title, but then I remembered that Meat Loaf played a roadie in the movie called...well ‘ROADIE’, so I believe the distinction goes to him.
Who wouldn’t be thrilled to get a call from the band and be told that, unless I can get to the venue by six-thirty that night, the show won’t go on.
Well, maybe its not so dramatic when its just my friend, Joe, who has a ‘band’ (I put band in quotes not because they are bad, but because they haven't actually played for an audiences). Turns out, they needed someone to, basically, hit the record button, while they practice a set of Christmas songs (with me as the only audience member).
Let’s see Meat Loaf make a movie about that (oh, wait...sorry).
Back to the band.
As mentioned, my friend Joe, and two of his friends, jammed (hip music reference) on this particular night in a rented small space in Flemington, New Jersey. The venue is called ‘DIY’ (Do It Yourself), which is where people could rent space for art shows, personal performances, and small (very small) concerts.
Fun fact, at the original ‘DIY’ location (this is its second incarnation) I was in a staged production of ‘The Chinese Restaurant’ episode from Seinfeld. I played Mr. Cohen (‘Mr. Cohen is always here’).
How did I end up in a staged production of a Seinfeld episode in Flemington, New Jersey? Well, that’s what happens when you, off the cuff, mentioned to one of your daughter’s friend (who, at the time, was an aspiring director – now a director), ‘Hey, did you know I was a theater major in college?’
(continue reading after video)
Curtain Call ‘The Chinese Restaurant’
Again, back to the band.
Once everyone arrived at ‘DIY’, we unloaded the equipment (by the way, coldest night of the year).
Personally, I was useless as they set up, so just wandered around and read the fliers on the walls. Once the equipment was tested, I waited for my instructions. Joe set up his phone to record their rehearsal. My assumption was I would start and stop recording before and after each song.
Not exactly.
Once I hit record before the first song, I was done for a long time.
The first three or four songs where good, only a few ‘No, wait, let’s start again…’ during the acoustic set.
After four songs, I hit the button to stop recording (I have a purpose!).
Then, with my ‘to-do’ list already packed, I was given a new task. One of their cellphones had recorded drum tracks; I had to push another button at the exact moment the song started. If I screwed it up, the entire song would be ruined.
By now, I felt like the fifth Beatle.
After band member Dan switched from acoustic to electric guitar, I was given the ‘go’ sign and started the recorded drum track.
They started to play and, in my humble opinion, they sounded horrible – out of step with the pre-recorded drum track.
Amateurs.
Oh, wait – with my poor eyesight, I played the wrong drum track (hey, you get what you pay for).
Once corrected, the rest of the songs went off without a hitch.
After the last song ended, I proved that I was not a good roadie at all – I left them to collect their equipment, and went home.
I’m sure, when the time comes for them to play in front of an audience, they’ll have someone else push all the right buttons.
Rock On...
From ‘The Geezer’s Christmas Concert’
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
