Oh, What a Feeling, Dancing on the Ceiling
I can’t sleep at night.
Well, I can sleep, but its not good. My sleep comes in fits and turns and fist fights with my sheets and blankets. Each morning I wake up to a crime scene, pillows everywhere, like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man exploded in my bedroom.
It must be an age thing. Back in the day (definitely an age thing since I just used the phrase ‘back in the day’) I could lay on a couch mid-day, roll over, and fall asleep almost immediately.
Now, I haven’t taken a nap in years.
Once I realized sleep was a challenge, I tried to figure the best way to handle it.
Spoiler alert, none of them worked, and most of them definitely were not healthy.
Not sure when my inability to sleep began, but its easily been more than two decades.
I knew it was going to be difficult, but I had to start somewhere, so I started with a sound machine (but not the Miami one).
Placed it on my nightstand, and dialed through the sounds: forest, animal, wind, fire crackling, and waves crashing in the ocean.
It didn’t work, and just made me miss being down the shore.
A sound machine was not an unhealthy choice, however everything else I did after that would be.
What followed was a series of foolish (i.e., stupid) methods to help me get to sleep.
(You can read about them here)
After the failure of all my home remedies for sleep, I did what I should have done in the first place.
I went to see my doctor.
You know I needed to sleep because I avoid seeing my doctor at all cost (my issues, not theirs).
Prescription sleep-aids, like Ambien, help you fall asleep, and stay asleep, but may have some bizarre side-effects (Headache, Nausea, Vomiting, and so on…).
My doctor did not prescribe Ambien for my problem, not sure if it wasn’t covered by insurance or not needed for my issue.
What I was prescribed helped me fall asleep, but to stay asleep was solely up to me.
Much like Ambien, my prescription also had side-effects. However, it had one side-effect that I never heard of before (and I don’t thank anyone else had either).
On that first night, I took a pill, waited about an hour, then headed to bed. Rolled on my right side, scrunched a pillow under my head, and waited for sleep.
Sleep didn’t come, but something else did.
On my nightstand.
A cartoon rooster.
Yes, a cartoon rooster. A cartoon roster that walked back and forth on my nightstand.
Interestingly, maybe because of the prescribed drug, this did not surprise me.
With each turn on the night stand the rooster took he looked directly at me.
Its when I rolled over on my back that I saw the rest of the cast.
A dozen or more cartoon animals circled above my head on the ceiling. Chickens, roosters, dogs, cats, small pigs, all out for a midnight jaunt.
Interesting enough, these were not Disney or Warner Bros. characters from my childhood. There was no Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck, or Mickey Mouse, these were original characters from my own mind (™).
I lay on my back for a while to see if more characters would engage (the ceiling dance ‘floor’ did get pretty full).
After a time, I closed my eyes, but did not fall asleep. When I opened them again, all the characters were gone.
Needless to say, I never took the pills again. Later, I told my doctor what happened and, although amused, just said side-effects are different for different people.
However, if I ever do take those pills again, Cartoon Network, here I come...
