Even at My Age, High School Rules for Dating Still Apply
I met a woman. Seems simple enough.
Of course – it wasn’t.
Through a friend, I met a woman, and thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her. Long story short, through that same friend, I received a text with the woman’s name and phone number a few days later (funny, I misheard her name and called her the wrong name during our first introduction).
Bonus points, he wrote she enjoyed meeting me as well.
This experience taught me one thing: whether you are sixteen or sixty, high school rules for dating still apply.
Two friends of mine (males) advised me that since I received her information on Tuesday, I should not call her until Friday. This way, I didn’t look “desperate” (Have they not read my blog?).
On Thursday, while visiting my niece, Mia, I told her about this woman, and showed her a picture I downloaded from her FACEBOOK page.
“She is very pretty,” Mia said, then asked, “What did she say when you called her?”
When I told her I had not called her yet, the expression ‘Men are idiots’ painted on Mia’s face. She ordered me (no exaggeration), while she pointed towards the front door, to go outside right now and call her.
I did, and after a nice chat, we setup a coffee date.
A three hour get-to-know-you-coffeehouse date on Friday went well. An awkward first date (my fault) followed on Saturday. Thought we’d go to town, walk around, and just find a restaurant. It’s been a long time since I had a first date and didn’t realize just how crowded and loud most restaurants are on a Saturday night.
A far-to-soon attempted first kiss didn’t help, but overall we adjusted and things seem to move forward (in a nice way).
We talked a lot, which was a good thing. Hours of conversations, either over the phone or in person. The best part of a relationship, for me, is the ability to have good conversations.
Texting, on the other hand, not so good.
I am used to, when sending a text (especially when I ask a question), to receive a reply.
She, on the other hand, not so much.
In the middle of a string of texts in an attempt to set up a time for dinner at my house one night, the conversation abruptly ended.
On my end, I said I’d appreciate a response when I text a question.
On her end, apparently, she explained, her no response was her response.
I thought, by now, at my age, dating would be less confusing…
….turns out, it’s not.
The Ghost in the Dating Machine
After this misunderstanding as to when to come over for dinner, she disappeared. She did not reply to any further texts, or answer any phone calls, for over a week.
I like to be truthful with this blog, so I will let you know, I did not handle this well.
Was I emotionally invested more than I should have been? Yes, very much so. But, in my defense, I cry at television commercials. The one where the little girl gets her stuffed bunny back, after she thought it was lost forever, I openly wept.
Then, out of the blue, after I thought I’d never hear from her again – she called (I told you, forever trapped in high school).
Until that moment, I thought she ghosted me.
Made arrangements to meet for dinner, which we did a few days later. We split a bottle of wine, and I was happy to see her, with hopes to clear up our misunderstanding. That was quickly dashed when she said she didn’t want to talk in a crowded restaurant.
“I’ll come to your house next week,” she assured me, “so we can discuss in private.”
Famous last words.
After we said goodnight, and a few more texts from me, I never heard from her again.
Again.
When God Closes a Door, He Tosses You Out a Window
Since my divorce, I had three long term and a handful of blink-and-you’ll-miss-them, relationships.
After that, over that last few years, I haven’t dated much, if at all.
People asked me why I didn’t, and I explain that I did the online dating, the friend fix-up, and the random meeting in bars and other place. Each have their own benefit and detraction, but I tell them I was done with it all.
Then I would add, “However, if God puts someone in my path, I will follow.”
I wholeheartedly believe that is exactly who this woman was to me. It took dating her for me to realize there is someone out there for me, but I need to do my part.
So, if by chance, the woman I met is reading this, I would just like to say, ‘thank you for opening that door…
….but I’ll take it from here’.
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